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Have it your way!
Burger King and Birth: Have it Your Way!
by Laura Lund, HCHI
www.BirthNaturally.org
Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.
Let’s say you’ve decided to go out to eat. As you’re driving around you see a few different options and you choose to go to Burger King. You wait in line and when it’s your turn you say:
1.“I’ll have whatever she had” (pointing to the woman who just ordered);
2.“I’d like a number 3 meal”;
3.Or maybe you want to customize it a bit and you say “I’d like a number 3 with no mayonnaise, no pickles, heavy tomato, and cheese.” No problem, right? They should be able to handle those variations (although you’ll probably have to repeat your instructions at least once).
What would happen if instead of ordering something on the menu you said, “Hi, I’d like a fillet mignon steak, cooked medium-well, a baked potato, steamed asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and garlic bread. I’d like that served on fine china and I’d like to sit at a private table for two with candlelight and a white linen tablecloth.” Would the Burger King employee say, “No problem, ma’am, we like you to ‘have it your way1’?” Unlikely, since that isn’t the type of service or food that Burger King normally provides. They don’t even stock that kind of food and probably don’t have the equipment or knowledge how to prepare it, either.
The Burger King employee would more likely say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t have those things here.” Or maybe he’d say, “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is Burger King. We only serve fast food, not gourmet food. If you want gourmet food you should go to the sit-down gourmet restaurant across the street. Otherwise, please order something on the menu.”
Now, at this point, you could decide to go with one of the first three options and stay at Burger King. Or, if you decide that you really want that gourmet meal, you’ll find a restaurant that caters to delivering that type of meal as a normal matter of course.
The reality of hospital births is that hospitals are not generally set up to cater to the individual desires of each woman that comes in to give birth there. Certain requests can usually be accommodated without a lot of fuss or bother, like requesting Burger King to hold the pickles and the lettuce. If a woman comes in wanting to wear her own clothes or listen to CDs or turn off the lights, no one usually cares about that.
Other requests come closer to requesting fine dining in a fast food joint. If a woman comes in declining a routine IV, choosing to eat and drink as she desires, opting for monitoring 10-15 minutes per hour instead of all the time, declining pain medication, avoiding pitocin or other interventions to “speed things up”, getting into the tub or shower even after her water has broken, and pushing in an alternative position such as a squat, some doctors, nurses, or midwives are going to have a difficult time feeling comfortable with those requests. A few of those choices are against typical hospital policy and the rest of them are likely to be very different from the types of births most hospital care providers and nurses usually attend. They may not be prepared to support that type of birth and they may not feel comfortable with those sorts of requests.
Now, it’s not really your problem if your requests make anybody else uncomfortable. The birthing mom is the boss, period. However, as you make choices regarding your baby’s birth, including what you would ideally like to have be a part of that birth experience, you need to make sure that you are wisely choosing a care provider and birth location that are conducive to the type of birth you’d like to have. Hospital birthing moms may find that they need to exert more effort in communicating their ideal birth preferences and they may find that they need to make concessions regarding certain aspects of those birth preferences. A hospital birthing mom may find a compromise that is still ok or good enough for her while also allowing her doctor or nurses to feel more comfortable. For example, a woman who may not have wanted any vaginal exams may find that she’ll agree to having one upon admission and one prior to pushing since her doctor feels very uncomfortable about not doing any. If she feels ok about that compromise after considering the benefits and/or risks of that course of action, that’s fine. It’s her birth experience.
Moms who choose to give birth outside of a hospital typically find that they have many more automatic birthing options—like having a caterer or personal chef come to your house and deliver a meal that is customized for your tastes and desires. A woman who desires to give birth without any routine interventions (no IV, no continuous monitoring, no vaginal exams, no episiotomy, etc.) and wants the freedom to do pretty much whatever she likes during her birthing time without anyone batting an eye (walk, use the tub during labor and/or birth, eat, drink, adopt whatever positions suit her, wear her own clothes or even no clothes, etc.) would do well to consider birthing outside of a hospital, where that type of birth is pretty much the norm. A woman who wants the postpartum period to be more relaxed and low-key (no routine procedures for the baby, no separation from the baby, etc.) may also prefer out-of-hospital birth. Planned home and birth center births have been proven to be at least as safe as hospital births for most women and babies.2 There is a very large body of research available documenting the safety of out of hospital births.3, 4
The bottom line is that you can, for the most part, have it your way. You need to decide for yourself what “your way” is, exactly, and where and with whom you’re most likely to be supported to give birth in the manner that best suits you. Are you more likely to have your ideal birth in a high tech hospital with a surgeon (OB/GYN) attending? Are you more likely to have your ideal birth in a smaller community hospital with a family practice doctor or CNM attending? Are you more likely to have your ideal birth at an alternative birth center or at home with a midwife attending? These choices are aspects of your baby’s birth that you directly control that have an enormous impact on what kind of birth experience you ultimately have. It’s really very important that you carefully research and consider all of your options and choose the option that you feel most comfortable with, whatever that may be.
If a woman decides that an OB/hospital birth is her best option does it follow that she should just choose any old random OB that happens to be on her insurance list? Are all OBs the same?
I’ve attended births with OBs that respect a woman’s wishes and strive to meet those wishes even if they don’t personally agree with all of her choices. These OBs offer their opinion and the facts and then leave it to the woman to decide.
I’ve attended births with OBs who use fear, misinformation, and anecdotes to manipulate a woman into complying with his wishes and desires. After all, he’s the expert. He’s the one that went to medical school. This type of OB typically feels strongly that the only birth plan a woman should have is “Go to hospital. Have baby.” He believes birth is dangerous and needs to be carefully monitored and manipulated in order to be “safe”. I’ve heard this type of OB say to a mom whose progress has stalled for a few hours that she’d better start dilating again or else she’d have to have a c-section. After waiting an hour I heard this OB say “this is just Mother Nature’s way of telling us that it ain’t gonna happen this way.” He then proceeded to inform the mom (who was in tears) that c-sections are actually better and safer than vaginal birth anyway (not true!)5, 6, so she shouldn’t be upset.
Which type of OB more rightly deserves the trust of his patients? Which OB would you rather have? How can you tell which type you have right now?
Well, for starters you can ask lots of questions. Find out what s/he thinks about natural birth (birth without interventions or medication). How many of his/her patients give birth without IVs? How many need, in that OBs opinion, to be induced? How many need, in that OBs opinion, c-sections or episiotomies? How many give birth in “traditional” positions such as semi-sitting vs. “alternative” positions like squatting? How does s/he feel about a birth in an alternative position? How does s/he feel about intermittent vs. continuous monitoring?
As you have this discussion with your care provider, watch his/her body language and be careful with your own wording. You want to ask the questions in such a way that you aren’t leading his/her response (you want your care provider to be honest rather than just tell you what you want to hear, which doesn’t help you). You want to ask open-ended questions “how do you feel” instead of yes/no questions. Of course you will want to avoid asking questions like “How often do you cut episiotomies?” Because s/he’s likely to respond with “only when they are necessary” which, again, tells you nothing. Instead you might ask “About what percentage of first-time moms do you think end up needing episiotomies?” (or c-sections or continuous monitoring or IVs, etc.).
Henci Goer has some excellent ideas for questions to ask and how to interpret a care provider’s responses in her book The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth.
If a doctor says that 80% of first-time moms need episiotomies and you are a first-time mom, what are your chances of “needing” (and receiving!) an episiotomy if you choose to use this doctor? Are you comfortable with those odds? Can you trust that doctor’s judgment on whether or not that episiotomy is truly necessary? Do you want to be in a position where you have to wonder whether or not an offered intervention is needed? Choose your care provider carefully! Obviously there are questions that can and should be asked if an intervention is offered, but it is much easier to avoid unnecessary and unwanted interventions if you do some legwork before the birth and choose a care provider that doesn’t routinely offer or perform them!
Every woman is individual in what would make a good birth experience just as every person has their own individual tastes and preferences for what they want to eat for dinner. There’s no one right kind of birth just as there’s no one dish that will satisfy everyone’s unique appetites. The bottom line is that you, the consumer, need to make sure your birth choices (all of which impact your ultimate experience) are likely to result in the birth you desire. You can’t go to Burger King to get a gourmet meal, but maybe what you wanted was a hamburger, anyway. Just make sure that what you order is satisfying.
Laura Lund is a Hypnobabies childbirth educator, founder of UCAN Birth support group, and doula in Provo, UT where she lives with her husband and four children.
Copyright 2007 by Laura Lund. All rights reserved. Laura gives permission to print and distribute this article freely.
Notes
1.Have it Your Way” is copyrighted by Burger King Corporation.
2.Johnson KC, Daviss BA. Outcomes of planned home births with certified professional midwives: large prospective study in North America. BMJ. 2005 Jun 18;330(7505):1416. PMID: 15961814 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSIONS: Planned home birth for low risk women in North America using certified professional midwives was associated with lower rates of medical intervention but similar intrapartum and neonatal mortality to that of low risk hospital births in the United States.
3.Anderson RE, Murphy PA. Outcomes of 11,788 planned home births attended by certified nurse-midwives. A retrospective descriptive study. J Nurse Midwifery. 1995 Nov-Dec;40(6):483-92. PMID: 8568573 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
This study supports previous research indicating that planned home birth with qualified care providers can be a safe alternative for healthy lower risk women.
4.Olsen, O. Meta-analysis of the safety of home birth. Birth. 1997 Mar;24(1):4-13; discussion 14-6. PMID: 9271961 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSION: Home birth is an acceptable alternative to hospital confinement for selected pregnant women, and leads to reduced medical interventions.
5.Kolas T, Saugstad OD, Daltveit AK, Nilsen ST, Oian P. Planned cesarean versus planned vaginal delivery at term: comparison of newborn infant outcomes. Am J Obstet Gynecol. 2006 Dec;195(6):1538-43. Epub 2006 Jul 17. PMID: 16846577 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSION: A planned cesarean delivery doubled both the rate of transfer to the neonatal intensive care unit and the risk for pulmonary disorders, compared with a planned vaginal delivery.
6.Wax JR. Maternal request cesarean versus planned spontaneous vaginal delivery: maternal morbidity and short term outcomes. Semin Perinatol. 2006 Oct;30(5):247-52. Review. PMID: 17011394 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
INTERPRETATION: Although the absolute difference is small, the risks of severe maternal morbidity associated with planned cesarean delivery are higher than those associated with planned vaginal delivery. These risks should be considered by women contemplating an elective cesarean delivery and by their physicians.
If you don't know your options, you don't have any. ~Korte & Scaer
Mothers need to know that their care and their choices won't be compromised by birth politics. ~Jennifer Rosenberg
by Laura Lund, HCHI
www.BirthNaturally.org
Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.
Let’s say you’ve decided to go out to eat. As you’re driving around you see a few different options and you choose to go to Burger King. You wait in line and when it’s your turn you say:
1.“I’ll have whatever she had” (pointing to the woman who just ordered);
2.“I’d like a number 3 meal”;
3.Or maybe you want to customize it a bit and you say “I’d like a number 3 with no mayonnaise, no pickles, heavy tomato, and cheese.” No problem, right? They should be able to handle those variations (although you’ll probably have to repeat your instructions at least once).
What would happen if instead of ordering something on the menu you said, “Hi, I’d like a fillet mignon steak, cooked medium-well, a baked potato, steamed asparagus with hollandaise sauce, and garlic bread. I’d like that served on fine china and I’d like to sit at a private table for two with candlelight and a white linen tablecloth.” Would the Burger King employee say, “No problem, ma’am, we like you to ‘have it your way1’?” Unlikely, since that isn’t the type of service or food that Burger King normally provides. They don’t even stock that kind of food and probably don’t have the equipment or knowledge how to prepare it, either.
The Burger King employee would more likely say, “I’m sorry, ma’am, we don’t have those things here.” Or maybe he’d say, “Um, I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is Burger King. We only serve fast food, not gourmet food. If you want gourmet food you should go to the sit-down gourmet restaurant across the street. Otherwise, please order something on the menu.”
Now, at this point, you could decide to go with one of the first three options and stay at Burger King. Or, if you decide that you really want that gourmet meal, you’ll find a restaurant that caters to delivering that type of meal as a normal matter of course.
The reality of hospital births is that hospitals are not generally set up to cater to the individual desires of each woman that comes in to give birth there. Certain requests can usually be accommodated without a lot of fuss or bother, like requesting Burger King to hold the pickles and the lettuce. If a woman comes in wanting to wear her own clothes or listen to CDs or turn off the lights, no one usually cares about that.
Other requests come closer to requesting fine dining in a fast food joint. If a woman comes in declining a routine IV, choosing to eat and drink as she desires, opting for monitoring 10-15 minutes per hour instead of all the time, declining pain medication, avoiding pitocin or other interventions to “speed things up”, getting into the tub or shower even after her water has broken, and pushing in an alternative position such as a squat, some doctors, nurses, or midwives are going to have a difficult time feeling comfortable with those requests. A few of those choices are against typical hospital policy and the rest of them are likely to be very different from the types of births most hospital care providers and nurses usually attend. They may not be prepared to support that type of birth and they may not feel comfortable with those sorts of requests.
Now, it’s not really your problem if your requests make anybody else uncomfortable. The birthing mom is the boss, period. However, as you make choices regarding your baby’s birth, including what you would ideally like to have be a part of that birth experience, you need to make sure that you are wisely choosing a care provider and birth location that are conducive to the type of birth you’d like to have. Hospital birthing moms may find that they need to exert more effort in communicating their ideal birth preferences and they may find that they need to make concessions regarding certain aspects of those birth preferences. A hospital birthing mom may find a compromise that is still ok or good enough for her while also allowing her doctor or nurses to feel more comfortable. For example, a woman who may not have wanted any vaginal exams may find that she’ll agree to having one upon admission and one prior to pushing since her doctor feels very uncomfortable about not doing any. If she feels ok about that compromise after considering the benefits and/or risks of that course of action, that’s fine. It’s her birth experience.
Moms who choose to give birth outside of a hospital typically find that they have many more automatic birthing options—like having a caterer or personal chef come to your house and deliver a meal that is customized for your tastes and desires. A woman who desires to give birth without any routine interventions (no IV, no continuous monitoring, no vaginal exams, no episiotomy, etc.) and wants the freedom to do pretty much whatever she likes during her birthing time without anyone batting an eye (walk, use the tub during labor and/or birth, eat, drink, adopt whatever positions suit her, wear her own clothes or even no clothes, etc.) would do well to consider birthing outside of a hospital, where that type of birth is pretty much the norm. A woman who wants the postpartum period to be more relaxed and low-key (no routine procedures for the baby, no separation from the baby, etc.) may also prefer out-of-hospital birth. Planned home and birth center births have been proven to be at least as safe as hospital births for most women and babies.2 There is a very large body of research available documenting the safety of out of hospital births.3, 4
The bottom line is that you can, for the most part, have it your way. You need to decide for yourself what “your way” is, exactly, and where and with whom you’re most likely to be supported to give birth in the manner that best suits you. Are you more likely to have your ideal birth in a high tech hospital with a surgeon (OB/GYN) attending? Are you more likely to have your ideal birth in a smaller community hospital with a family practice doctor or CNM attending? Are you more likely to have your ideal birth at an alternative birth center or at home with a midwife attending? These choices are aspects of your baby’s birth that you directly control that have an enormous impact on what kind of birth experience you ultimately have. It’s really very important that you carefully research and consider all of your options and choose the option that you feel most comfortable with, whatever that may be.
If a woman decides that an OB/hospital birth is her best option does it follow that she should just choose any old random OB that happens to be on her insurance list? Are all OBs the same?
I’ve attended births with OBs that respect a woman’s wishes and strive to meet those wishes even if they don’t personally agree with all of her choices. These OBs offer their opinion and the facts and then leave it to the woman to decide.
I’ve attended births with OBs who use fear, misinformation, and anecdotes to manipulate a woman into complying with his wishes and desires. After all, he’s the expert. He’s the one that went to medical school. This type of OB typically feels strongly that the only birth plan a woman should have is “Go to hospital. Have baby.” He believes birth is dangerous and needs to be carefully monitored and manipulated in order to be “safe”. I’ve heard this type of OB say to a mom whose progress has stalled for a few hours that she’d better start dilating again or else she’d have to have a c-section. After waiting an hour I heard this OB say “this is just Mother Nature’s way of telling us that it ain’t gonna happen this way.” He then proceeded to inform the mom (who was in tears) that c-sections are actually better and safer than vaginal birth anyway (not true!)5, 6, so she shouldn’t be upset.
Which type of OB more rightly deserves the trust of his patients? Which OB would you rather have? How can you tell which type you have right now?
Well, for starters you can ask lots of questions. Find out what s/he thinks about natural birth (birth without interventions or medication). How many of his/her patients give birth without IVs? How many need, in that OBs opinion, to be induced? How many need, in that OBs opinion, c-sections or episiotomies? How many give birth in “traditional” positions such as semi-sitting vs. “alternative” positions like squatting? How does s/he feel about a birth in an alternative position? How does s/he feel about intermittent vs. continuous monitoring?
As you have this discussion with your care provider, watch his/her body language and be careful with your own wording. You want to ask the questions in such a way that you aren’t leading his/her response (you want your care provider to be honest rather than just tell you what you want to hear, which doesn’t help you). You want to ask open-ended questions “how do you feel” instead of yes/no questions. Of course you will want to avoid asking questions like “How often do you cut episiotomies?” Because s/he’s likely to respond with “only when they are necessary” which, again, tells you nothing. Instead you might ask “About what percentage of first-time moms do you think end up needing episiotomies?” (or c-sections or continuous monitoring or IVs, etc.).
Henci Goer has some excellent ideas for questions to ask and how to interpret a care provider’s responses in her book The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth.
If a doctor says that 80% of first-time moms need episiotomies and you are a first-time mom, what are your chances of “needing” (and receiving!) an episiotomy if you choose to use this doctor? Are you comfortable with those odds? Can you trust that doctor’s judgment on whether or not that episiotomy is truly necessary? Do you want to be in a position where you have to wonder whether or not an offered intervention is needed? Choose your care provider carefully! Obviously there are questions that can and should be asked if an intervention is offered, but it is much easier to avoid unnecessary and unwanted interventions if you do some legwork before the birth and choose a care provider that doesn’t routinely offer or perform them!
Every woman is individual in what would make a good birth experience just as every person has their own individual tastes and preferences for what they want to eat for dinner. There’s no one right kind of birth just as there’s no one dish that will satisfy everyone’s unique appetites. The bottom line is that you, the consumer, need to make sure your birth choices (all of which impact your ultimate experience) are likely to result in the birth you desire. You can’t go to Burger King to get a gourmet meal, but maybe what you wanted was a hamburger, anyway. Just make sure that what you order is satisfying.
Laura Lund is a Hypnobabies childbirth educator, founder of UCAN Birth support group, and doula in Provo, UT where she lives with her husband and four children.
Copyright 2007 by Laura Lund. All rights reserved. Laura gives permission to print and distribute this article freely.
Notes
1.Have it Your Way” is copyrighted by Burger King Corporation.
2.Johnson KC, Daviss BA. Outcomes of planned home births with certified professional midwives: large prospective study in North America. BMJ. 2005 Jun 18;330(7505):1416. PMID: 15961814 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSIONS: Planned home birth for low risk women in North America using certified professional midwives was associated with lower rates of medical intervention but similar intrapartum and neonatal mortality to that of low risk hospital births in the United States.
3.Anderson RE, Murphy PA. Outcomes of 11,788 planned home births attended by certified nurse-midwives. A retrospective descriptive study. J Nurse Midwifery. 1995 Nov-Dec;40(6):483-92. PMID: 8568573 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
This study supports previous research indicating that planned home birth with qualified care providers can be a safe alternative for healthy lower risk women.
4.Olsen, O. Meta-analysis of the safety of home birth. Birth. 1997 Mar;24(1):4-13; discussion 14-6. PMID: 9271961 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSION: Home birth is an acceptable alternative to hospital confinement for selected pregnant women, and leads to reduced medical interventions.
5.Kolas T, Saugstad OD, Daltveit AK, Nilsen ST, Oian P. Planned cesarean versus planned vaginal delivery at term: comparison of newborn infant outcomes. Am J Obstet Gynecol. 2006 Dec;195(6):1538-43. Epub 2006 Jul 17. PMID: 16846577 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
CONCLUSION: A planned cesarean delivery doubled both the rate of transfer to the neonatal intensive care unit and the risk for pulmonary disorders, compared with a planned vaginal delivery.
6.Wax JR. Maternal request cesarean versus planned spontaneous vaginal delivery: maternal morbidity and short term outcomes. Semin Perinatol. 2006 Oct;30(5):247-52. Review. PMID: 17011394 [PubMed - indexed for MEDLINE]
INTERPRETATION: Although the absolute difference is small, the risks of severe maternal morbidity associated with planned cesarean delivery are higher than those associated with planned vaginal delivery. These risks should be considered by women contemplating an elective cesarean delivery and by their physicians.
If you don't know your options, you don't have any. ~Korte & Scaer
Mothers need to know that their care and their choices won't be compromised by birth politics. ~Jennifer Rosenberg
Just some articles I found on safest ways to deliver your baby.
http://www.consumerreports.org/health/conditions-and-treatments/pregnancy-childbirth/maternity-care/maternity-care-quiz/maternity-care-quiz.htm
Everything you need to know about birth plans:
How to research hospital procedures:
Start with a tour of L&D very early in your pregnancy. Take your copy of what you printed out and ask lots of questions about what procedures they routinely do. Make notes and write down any unanswered questions for later research and to ask your doctor. Ask friends that you know have delivered there what their experience was like, even if they have a different outlook on birth then you have. Ask if there are any nurses that especially like attending a natural, med-free birth, and write their names down.
Next, read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birthby Henci Goer. You should consider this mandatory reading when planning a hospital birth. This book goes through many different hospital procedures and policies. It is an excellent reference book and has an index in the back. Another suggestion is Born in the USA by Dr. Marsden Wagner. In each of these books, there are loads of other suggestions in the back for further reading. One last must-have resource is ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network): http://www.ican-online.org/ There is also a list of resources on this board as well.
Do not only ask questions to your doctor. Allow your doctors answers to be validated by your own research. If they are not, then you can switch providers at any time in your pregnancy. Really, you can.
Keep in mind that even if you feel comfortable with the way your doctor handles labor and birth, there is no guarantee that you will have her when you go into labor. You really are at the whim of the L&D nurses. Usually the doctor is only there to catch the baby. Also, you might be with a doctor that you have never met before simply because they are on call.
Making the actual birth plan:
Use language that makes it clear you are in charge. Be aware that you are paying them for a service, and that you are in charge of your own body, as well as your baby's.
Do not use the phrase "Please allow....." or "We request that..." or other similar phrases that puts you in an inferior position. You should use phrases such as "I will..." or "I do not consent..." That may be hard to do, as we do not want to offend anyone, but actually being short and to the point makes your message clear.
Keep it simple:
Although the site I mentioned has a lot of options, your final draft needs to be only one page, bullet/list format. Go over the final draft with your practitioner and have them sign it. Mine was longer then one page, however, I put all the normal stuff on the front, and the emergency c-section stuff on the back. You should have several copies that go with you to the delivery. Your rough draft is more for informational purposes that you use as a guide to ask questions, find out what you are most concerned about and to see if your doctor and hospital are compatible to you.
I want to help you!
I am willing to answer any questions you may have regarding birth plans. Feel free to ask any questions or even post your birth plan and I will review it. Others are welcome to comment as well. If for some reason you do not get a response, please send me a pm.
One last tip:
A doula is included in the following sample plan for a reason. She is a person that knows the ins and outs of the hospital culture, and can help you and your partner stick to your birth plan, as well as inform you of things that you may not be aware of during labor. She also is trained to help you deal with pain natually and acheive a natural birth. I, as well as many other women, feel that a hosptial birth NEEDS to have a birth plan AND a doula, even if you have a C.N.M.
http://www.consumerreports.org/health/conditions-and-treatments/pregnancy-childbirth/maternity-care/maternity-care-quiz/maternity-care-quiz.htm
Everything you need to know about birth plans:
How to research hospital procedures:
Start with a tour of L&D very early in your pregnancy. Take your copy of what you printed out and ask lots of questions about what procedures they routinely do. Make notes and write down any unanswered questions for later research and to ask your doctor. Ask friends that you know have delivered there what their experience was like, even if they have a different outlook on birth then you have. Ask if there are any nurses that especially like attending a natural, med-free birth, and write their names down.
Next, read The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birthby Henci Goer. You should consider this mandatory reading when planning a hospital birth. This book goes through many different hospital procedures and policies. It is an excellent reference book and has an index in the back. Another suggestion is Born in the USA by Dr. Marsden Wagner. In each of these books, there are loads of other suggestions in the back for further reading. One last must-have resource is ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network): http://www.ican-online.org/ There is also a list of resources on this board as well.
Do not only ask questions to your doctor. Allow your doctors answers to be validated by your own research. If they are not, then you can switch providers at any time in your pregnancy. Really, you can.
Keep in mind that even if you feel comfortable with the way your doctor handles labor and birth, there is no guarantee that you will have her when you go into labor. You really are at the whim of the L&D nurses. Usually the doctor is only there to catch the baby. Also, you might be with a doctor that you have never met before simply because they are on call.
Making the actual birth plan:
Use language that makes it clear you are in charge. Be aware that you are paying them for a service, and that you are in charge of your own body, as well as your baby's.
Do not use the phrase "Please allow....." or "We request that..." or other similar phrases that puts you in an inferior position. You should use phrases such as "I will..." or "I do not consent..." That may be hard to do, as we do not want to offend anyone, but actually being short and to the point makes your message clear.
Keep it simple:
Although the site I mentioned has a lot of options, your final draft needs to be only one page, bullet/list format. Go over the final draft with your practitioner and have them sign it. Mine was longer then one page, however, I put all the normal stuff on the front, and the emergency c-section stuff on the back. You should have several copies that go with you to the delivery. Your rough draft is more for informational purposes that you use as a guide to ask questions, find out what you are most concerned about and to see if your doctor and hospital are compatible to you.
I want to help you!
I am willing to answer any questions you may have regarding birth plans. Feel free to ask any questions or even post your birth plan and I will review it. Others are welcome to comment as well. If for some reason you do not get a response, please send me a pm.
One last tip:
A doula is included in the following sample plan for a reason. She is a person that knows the ins and outs of the hospital culture, and can help you and your partner stick to your birth plan, as well as inform you of things that you may not be aware of during labor. She also is trained to help you deal with pain natually and acheive a natural birth. I, as well as many other women, feel that a hosptial birth NEEDS to have a birth plan AND a doula, even if you have a C.N.M.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Cesarean vs VBAC
Someone posted this on FB and just thought I would share. I think this woman is a very strong woman for standing up for what she believes in even though these intelligent drs tell her otherwise. Just amazes me how in todays world with all this technology, research on everything, people still think VBACs are not safe. I mean the research about it... It's all over the place how VBACs are actually safer than a repeat c-section, I don't understand. Oh and I can vouch for the calmness of the baby after being born naturally in water. Each of my babies were the same way.http://vimeo.com/5648654
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
More about labor
A friend found this article, I'm glad to read that I'm not lonely in my thinking but sad to see how common this is. I wonder if more women knew they had choices, if the induction and c-section rates would be lower??? I know how hard it is when it's the end of the pregnancy. You want to hold that little one, you want your body back, you want to be able to sleep without having to wake up several times during the night to pee, be able to bend down, (and for me personally, to be able to stand up without shooting pains in legs and can barely stand up without taking 10 mins to get over the pain) but is this about baby or mom?
http://mommynewsblog.com/when-is-it-ok-to-induce-labor/
http://mommynewsblog.com/when-is-it-ok-to-induce-labor/
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
We finally did it!!!
We made it to Disney!!! After 2010 being filled with RSV twice, puking kid for 2 weeks, car accident resulting in ticket and fees up the wazoo, plus no car for close to 2 months, we finally made it to Disney World!!! We had a blast! The boys were terrific, Piper was sooo good! I can't wait to take them back! Of course it won't be for another 4 years or longer but I'm already looking forward to it! Jake and Tyee loved Star Tours, that of course was their favorite part. Luke loved meeting the Little Einstien crew. He refused to go up to any of the characters, he would cry if they came to him, but he RAN up to Leo, Anne, June and Quincy and gave them a big hug! It was so cute!!! Piper enjoyed playing with the dolls, whenever the boys would see something girly they brought it over to her and she just lite up with joy! So we bought her a doll and she refuses to even touch it lol. She also didn't like the characters, she even pushed Leo's hand away. The resort was awesome! I think the room was bigger than our house! It was a wonderful vacation! One we will always have fond memories of!
Monday, April 19, 2010
My Baby is 1
Piper's birthday was on Friday, the 16th. It was such a sad day. I realized, that's the last first birthday we will be celebrating till grandkids! Her first year has been so much fun! Knowing she is our last I treasured every milestone. At the tiny age of 1 she has no teeth, wouldn't take a bottle till she was 8-9 months (which I am very proud of btw), has never had a bottle of formula (refused that as well!) refused a paci, delayed solids till she was 6 months, has been my smallest baby and yet is 20lb 8oz at 1! She has decided to wait on walking yet started sitting up at 5 months. She loves daddy and crawls around the house babbling dadda, she will say momma but she loves her dadda. She giggles at her brothers when she is sitting in her carseat. She sits behind the passenger side, still rear facing and I'm not so sure I'm going to turn her around anytime soon as she is able to see all her brothers and each one can make faces, talk to her and she will babble back and giggle, it's so cute to listen to her giggle! She loves cars! I was so excited to be able to buy a doll when we found out we were expecting a girl after 3 boys, but all she does is stick her finger in the eye then throw the doll and goes right to the cars! It's cute though to see her push a car around the house. I decided to get her a pink one, but guess what! she still perfers good ole fashion hot wheels! I'm looking forward to watching my little girl walk around in a dress, twirling around, playing dolls but I'm also so sad she is past her "baby" stage. I will cherish the next few weeks that she is still a baby crawling around and crying for mommy and daddy to pick her up! (although soon enough she will be walking around and crying for mommy and daddy to pick her up lol)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
I'm not a Hippy, nor am I a Diva... who am I?
I know who I am but I think people get me confused with those in the physiatric ward. I'm tired of people telling me I'm crazy for having natural births or a homebirth. I've decided I'm going to start posting info that I find on here for reasons natural births are a passion of mine. I think what annoys me most is that people feel free to tell me how crazy I am and yet I have NEVER EVER made a comment towards anyone about their choice of birthing. To each their own, but it can be hurtful when people tell me their opinions about my choice and outcomes when they weren't even present. For the record, NEVER screamed during any of my 4 births, NEVER tore, NEVER asked for drugs, NEVER had anyone assist in my child entering the world the way they were meant too. How is that crazy???? Everyone of my children have been completely healthy, calm and perfect when they were born. Isn't that what we strive for? So why am I crazy for birthing a perfect child? All of which barely even cried when they were born (because of the calm way in which they entered this cold world). I'm not hear to preach (ok maybe slightly preach my reasons for going natural) or say this is the only way to birth a baby, or that someone is a wimp for using drugs during labor, I'm just tired of being told the way I birth is crazy. Seriously if one more person makes a comment I think I'm gonna punch them in the face!
Ok well I probably wouldn't.... ok I wouldn't at all! But the stereotyping is awful, I'm either a hippy or I'm ruining the world because I don't recycle. I've never been one to fit in and I'm still not one to fit in, whatever. I am who I am so stop judging me. I make choices that work for MY family. Just the way you make choices for your family.
So where did this all come about? It's been brewing for a long time! But just had to recently hear another comment, where I bit my tongue because if I had opened my mouth, I'm sure I would have been the one to come off as a crazy, hippy lunatic. So get used to my new posts about Breastfeeding, natural childbirth and all that holistic stuff. (and no I'm not a hippie, I wear make-up... GASP!)
Ok well I probably wouldn't.... ok I wouldn't at all! But the stereotyping is awful, I'm either a hippy or I'm ruining the world because I don't recycle. I've never been one to fit in and I'm still not one to fit in, whatever. I am who I am so stop judging me. I make choices that work for MY family. Just the way you make choices for your family.
So where did this all come about? It's been brewing for a long time! But just had to recently hear another comment, where I bit my tongue because if I had opened my mouth, I'm sure I would have been the one to come off as a crazy, hippy lunatic. So get used to my new posts about Breastfeeding, natural childbirth and all that holistic stuff. (and no I'm not a hippie, I wear make-up... GASP!)
Sunday, December 13, 2009
The kids have been Elfed again this year!
The kids had a blast elfing themselves again. Downside was when it says JibJab, Luke thinks it was saying Shut up so he would yell SHUT UP at the computer lol!
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/vB6iaybC1vD5BSLQ
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/NY7nJEu886uDqdAT
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/3kyPPbkSXSVloLbC
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/JC3NpSFlnRzbjyirSEHh
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/vB6iaybC1vD5BSLQ
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/NY7nJEu886uDqdAT
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/3kyPPbkSXSVloLbC
http://elfyourself.jibjab.com/view/JC3NpSFlnRzbjyirSEHh
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I'm not very good with keeping this up to date! I'm always on facebook and that seems to be my update lol. Things are going well. We still haven't sold the house and seriously considering an addition. We're keeping the house up till March and in the meantime looking into what we need for the addition. I wanted to avoid this stress but I guess Heavenly Father has other plans for us. We love the area so I guess it will be worth it. I hope it will be anyway!
Jake and Tyee are loving school and they are doing awesome!! Both teachers say they are above average and Tyee's teacher was surprised I thought about holding him back because of his late birthday, she said he is so ready and ahead of the game! I'm so glad we decided to send him to kindergarten! Now if we can just get him to behave on the bus! He's had 3 strikes now and is separated from the boy he was sitting with and getting into trouble with so... so far he's been behaving. The last issue was him and the boy scratching each other's face... FOR FUN! Thing is I can totally see Tyee doing this and thinking, "what did we do wrong? We were just having fun!" Silly boy! He does know now that its behavior that will not be tolerated.
Luke is getting so big! He's been such a fun toddler! He adores Piper to pieces! He can not get enough of her! He gets a boo boo and it's a kiss from Piper is what he wants. It's precious!!
Piper is getting so big too! At her 6 month check up she was 17lb 8oz. Funny thing is she's actually my smallest! lol. I make good milk! She's been such a good baby! I have been so blessed! (I admit I'm gearing up for her toddler years though!)
So that's about it! Busy with school and everyday life!
Jake and Tyee are loving school and they are doing awesome!! Both teachers say they are above average and Tyee's teacher was surprised I thought about holding him back because of his late birthday, she said he is so ready and ahead of the game! I'm so glad we decided to send him to kindergarten! Now if we can just get him to behave on the bus! He's had 3 strikes now and is separated from the boy he was sitting with and getting into trouble with so... so far he's been behaving. The last issue was him and the boy scratching each other's face... FOR FUN! Thing is I can totally see Tyee doing this and thinking, "what did we do wrong? We were just having fun!" Silly boy! He does know now that its behavior that will not be tolerated.
Luke is getting so big! He's been such a fun toddler! He adores Piper to pieces! He can not get enough of her! He gets a boo boo and it's a kiss from Piper is what he wants. It's precious!!
Piper is getting so big too! At her 6 month check up she was 17lb 8oz. Funny thing is she's actually my smallest! lol. I make good milk! She's been such a good baby! I have been so blessed! (I admit I'm gearing up for her toddler years though!)
So that's about it! Busy with school and everyday life!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Has it been that long???
So we've had a busy summer, doing what? Not sure really just keeping busy doing fun stuff. Going to the park, to the shore, playing outside. It seems everyone is enjoying their summer! Jason had off this week for vacation and the kids really have enjoyed daddy being home. We ended up not doing all the fun things we had planned but we did go to the shore and go to Crystal Cave (still haven't downloaded those pics) Jake and Tyee ran right into the ocean! They love the shore! Luke on the other hand ... it took him till the end of the second trip to actually get in and not cry. His cousin Katelynn brought him in and got him to fall in love with the water! Funny thing is he LOVES the water, but I think the waves were intimidating... Don't blame him!!
So we have decided to send Tyee to kindergarten this year. We do feel he is ready. He has a late birthday but just makes the cut off date and we thought because he was so young starting, that maybe he needed more time to grow, but after much thought we decided he is ready and holding him back would hold him back in learning. He is eager to learn and has been learning quickly! He's nervous but getting excited! I can't believe I will have 2 in full day school! It's going to be quiet around my house this year! Though I am looking forward to some time with just Luke and Piper. We're going to work on getting into a routine. I'm not much of a scheduler so hopefully we get into one once the older boys are in school. Luke will be attending story time at the library, I'm sure he will enjoy that! Jake and Tyee will be doing soccer this fall, Tyee is more excited about it than Jake, but I know it will grow on Jake. When Jake did it in prek, he had an awful coach so I think that really made an impact on him. Hopefully this year he'll get someone that lets the kids be kids and enjoy practice and games. Piper is growing so fast! She still wakes up once a night but nurses right back to sleep. She's a great napper during the day as well. We've thought about getting her into the crib as Luke has decided he's a big boy now and sleeps in the bottom bunk of the boys beds. But it's just so much easier to have Piper in our room! Why mess something up that works great!
As for our house it's still up on the market. We've had lots of people come look at it the last 2 wks or so and everyone has said they like the house, some say too small but we did have 2 that really liked the house enough to consider putting an offer in on the house, but nothing yet. We're still hoping soon, hopefully soon someone will love our house enough to put an offer on it!
So here are some pics from the begining of the summer or middle of the summer.
Yes, he's walking down the slide lol
Silly Tyee
She was not happy, but I love this dress!
Jake put Piper to sleep then Jake and Tyee fell asleep too
Luke loves looking for Piper and always making sure she knows he loves her
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Interview with the Monsters
1. What is something I always say to you?
J: LUKE I mean JAAKKKE
T: Tyee help Piper
2. What makes me happy?
J: whenever I tell you I never lie to you
T: helping you
3 what makes me sad?
J: when I don't listen
T: when I don't do good things
4. How do I make you laugh?
J: when you make funny faces
T: you tickle my belly
5. what do you think I was like as a kid?
J: 8, you liked Zelda
T: a girl, played dollies
6. how old am I?
J: you have to tell us how high we can go... 13
T: 61
7. How tall am I?
J: 13 inches
T: 90 ft
8. What is my favorite thing to do?
J: play with me
T: play with Piper
9. What do i do when your not around?
J: go on the computer and hang out at home
T: hang out on the computer
10. what am I really good at?
J: helping us
T: playing Super Mario Brothers
11. what am I not really good at?
J: cleaning up
T: playing Zelda
12. what is my job?
J: playing on the computer and being a mom
T: clean up and being a mom
13. what is my favorite food?
J: watermelon
T: lukey bear soup
14. what makes me proud of you?
J: cleaning up
T: cleaning up
15. what something you and I play together?
J: the animal game
T: you and me playing "bow chicka wow wow" (he's obviously getting bored lol)
16. How are we the same?
J: we both have the same hair
T: we both have hair
17. How are we different?
J: we don't like the same animals
T: we dont like the same animals
18. If I were a cartoon character, who would I be?
J: the princess from Zelda
T: spiderlady
19. How do you know I love you?
J: cuz you treat me good
T: i dont know because we have hair
20. Where is my favorite place?
J: a type of resturant.. maybe Chatterbox.
T: at Land of Make Believe
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Bad Luck?
I swear, if it weren't for bad luck we wouldn't have any luck at all. At least that's how I've been feeling lately. Still trying to sell the house... still no luck. Found a leak in the ceiling, our water pump is acting funny. Just feeling like everything is falling apart on us. We've lowered our price on our house in hopes to get people in here, and we succeeded in that, but it's always too small for them. I'm not sure what they think when they see the price and pictures with room measurements, what do they expect?? I'm not really sure what more we can do. I guess continue to have faith that it will work out.
Other than that things are going well. Piper is getting so big! She's been smiling up a storm! Schools out this Thursday the 18th and I guess we're in for a wet summer this year. Looks like we'll be spending alot of time at home inside this summer. We're planning a trip in Aug. I think we may go to Mysitic Seaport in CT. Possibly taking the kids whale watching and the aquairium. We may also go to Hershey Park. And for sure going to the shore this year! We haven't made it down there in a couple years and I miss the shore! Hopefully we'll have some dry days to be able to do that.
Other than that things are going well. Piper is getting so big! She's been smiling up a storm! Schools out this Thursday the 18th and I guess we're in for a wet summer this year. Looks like we'll be spending alot of time at home inside this summer. We're planning a trip in Aug. I think we may go to Mysitic Seaport in CT. Possibly taking the kids whale watching and the aquairium. We may also go to Hershey Park. And for sure going to the shore this year! We haven't made it down there in a couple years and I miss the shore! Hopefully we'll have some dry days to be able to do that.
Friday, June 5, 2009
Just a bunch of pictures!
Jake just looked like a big boy that day. I couldn't believe I was sending my 6 yr old off to school.... yeah I know it was May hehe
The kids with their Build A Bears. Piper is actually wearing her bunny's outfit haha
She didn't get a coming home outfit since she was already home but this one is my favorite!
Tyee LOVES snuggling up with her!
Jason lost his ring almost the next day!!
I just love this pic!
Luke has decided he is a big boy now and can get his won cups! Hope he takes alot longer to figure out how to pour it! ahhhhh!!
So far I think this is the most baby acne she has gotten and it might have actually been that she grabbed her face and pinched herself to make those marks.
One of our first family pictures! The actual first was right after giving birth and I hate the way I look!
He just ADORES her!! He is always saying me me me! to hold her.
Just some outfits that I had to make sure I got pics of since we most likely wont be using them again :(
Well that's all the pics for today. I wanted to get some up of the birth... not graphic ones just ones that I thought were cool or special but it's late so I'll try that another night!
Sunday, May 3, 2009
My home waterbirth
Well as most know we named our little girl Piper Jo Hanna. She's still absolutely perfect! 16 days after she was born she now weighs 8lb 2oz! So she's definitly growing!
The boys still love having her around! It's been so much fun watching them with her. They love her! She fits right in!
I'm doing very good! I think this has been my best recovery yet... well Tyee's recovery was perfect too, but it was nice to be home the whole time. I've written Piper's birth story so figured I would share it. So here it is.
I was having cramps starting on the Friday before she was born. They lasted all weekend and on Easter Sunday I actually thought I was going to have the baby by the next morning. Contractions were at one point 3 mins apart lasting at least a min long. But then they completely stopped. Still had cramping on Monday, some on Tuesday and Wed I had an appointment with Roxie, mostly just to check me to see if I had dilated and check the position of the baby because I was having alot of anxity about baby getting into position. I was 2 1/2cm, 50%, -2 station and she asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes. After a few days of cramping and on and off contractions I said yes. Boy did that hurt!! I had it done with Luke but it didn't hurt like this did and I told Roxie that too lol. So Thursday April 16th, Jason had to get up early for work because he had to drive to Fairview for some training (of course making me nervous that I would need to call him during that time and here he would be over an hour away) So he left for work and a couple hours later the boys climbed into bed with me. I got up to go to the bathroom and lost my plug. First time ever that I even noticed that I lost my plug! I was having contractions but were very mild, I could talk through them, walk, deal with the kids, yada, yada, yada. So I took all the boys to the dr so Jake could get his allergy shots. While there the pedi was asking if I was still having ahomebirth and that the hospital was a good place as well and asked if Roxie was going to be there and asked my due date. He's all for natural births, loves the idea of waterbirths and loves Roxie, but because homebirths are not very popular and he's had to rush in several times for emergencies of course he was skeptical and worried about homebirths. So after the dr's we went to my sisters, the kids played outside, we had lunch, and I was still having contractions so I decided to go home as my mil was coming up for dinner that evening with her sister and sister's husband (visiting from Tenn.). Got home cleaned the house (sorta), cleaned the bathroom, and still having contractions. They arrived and I told them right away I was having some mild contractions and apoligized for all the toys on the floor, I was not about to bend over and pick them up lol. Jason finally got home and I told him I thought we would be sending them home shortly after dinner and that's what happened. At 7pm they left, then called back to say there was a house fire down the street, Jason started getting the tub ready and I texted my midwives and my sister and they started heading up. My contractions were 3-5mins apart and 50 sec long but were turning into steady 3 mins apart 1 min long. I was nervous about them not making it so I didn't do much but sit on the couch. I didn't want to make my labor any shorter then it seemed like it was going to be. The boys were terrific while I was in labor. Jake and Tyee would come over and want a hug but if I was having a contraction they backed off and waited, then would ask if I was having the baby lol, I told them yes tonight she was coming! They were sooo excited! I wanted sooo bad to get in the tub but I was fearful of it making my labor progress rapidly, I declined. Jason had the boys put on jammies, then the back labor started, that was horrible! Jason rubbed my back for a good hour staight! At one point I got up to kneel on the floor and lean on the chair, I was feeling pressure but I tried my hardest not to push. Jason continued to rub my back and Jake came over with the flashlight and shown it down low and said "mom I'm making sure she comes head first for you." lol, very innocently. (that goes back to when she flipped breech, the boys thought it was fun to shine the flashlight on my lower belly ) So in the mean time they were all heading up. Of course they were all busy so they had to get their backups in order or get kids. So by the time they actually started showing up and were able to get through the house fire mess it was 8:30pm. Teresa was the first to show up with Mercedes, then Roxie 10 mins later, then Judy about 10 mins after Roxie. I was getting nervous because I could feel pressure before anyone was here. When they did arrive Roxie checked me, I was 10 cm!! I asked if I could get in the tub, but they wanted to make sure they could get the heplock in first so as soon as they saw blood they could start me up on pit. (as I'm prone to hemorraging) Finally got in the tub at 9pm. It felt soooo nice and relaxing, I wished I had gotten in sooner! Pretty much right away started pushing. I could feel her coming down, then go back up. And it seemed to keep happening with a few small pushes. During one contraction her head was right there, so I put my hand there and didn't feel a head, it was her membranes. That was such a weird feeling because I had expected to feel her hair. I pushed her head out and Roxie told me to just let it stretch, then the next contraction she told me to push, I said I can't but next thing you know I felt her body exit me and the water break as she slid out at 9:09pm. She was pretty blue and had the cord wrapped around her shoulder and I think because of that there may have been a little tug on the placenta that made a gush of blood come right away. So they shot me in the butt with pit. or that methajone stuff. I just sat and held her in the water, she definitly was a girl! and as much as I wanted to delay cord cutting alittle longer, they were concerned about the bleeding so I let them clamp (it was still at least 2 mins after so it was still somewhat delayed) Jake came over and cut the cord. You could tell he was sooo proud to get to do it! Judy took the baby while Roxie helped me out of the tub into my bed, I delivered the placenta and she massaged my uterus. Judy came in and gave me more methajone (sp?) and pit so I was cramping pretty bad with that, but no hemorraging!! I tried to nurse her but it was hard, she didn't want to latch right then and I was in so much pain, so after the massaging (which was at least 10-15mins) I nursed her and she latched right away. While I was being massaged, Jason weighed her, she was 7lb 2oz, 20 inches and just perfect! And I didn't tear!!The midwives and Jason cleaned the tub and everything and the house was back to normal in an hour. I just layed in bed holding and nursing my new little one. Who still didn't have a name lol. When everyone left by 1am, the house was quiet, the boys were sleeping, Jason was sleeping, the baby was sleeping and I was up almost all night cramping! I made sure to take motrin with the methwhatever pills after that! Later that day we decided to name her Piper Jo Hanna.
I couldn't have asked for it to go any better!! It was an amazing homebirth! The 2 reason's I'm glad I had my first 3 in the natural childbirth friendly hospital was because 1- Roxie didn't do homebirths then and 2- I hemorraged badly with Jake, with Tyee they were still trying to figure out what helped me to stop hemorraging and by Luke they had it down pat! I would have loved to be able to sit in the tub after giving birth and just hold her in the water for a few moments, but I guess that's where my situation is unique and even if we decide to have more, I'll probably have the same issues and will never get to experience that part of birth. But overall I was very happy about having my homebirth and feel completely blessed to have 4 beautiful children and 4 wonderful waterbirths! I couldn't ask for anything more! I am soooo blessed!
The boys still love having her around! It's been so much fun watching them with her. They love her! She fits right in!
I'm doing very good! I think this has been my best recovery yet... well Tyee's recovery was perfect too, but it was nice to be home the whole time. I've written Piper's birth story so figured I would share it. So here it is.
I was having cramps starting on the Friday before she was born. They lasted all weekend and on Easter Sunday I actually thought I was going to have the baby by the next morning. Contractions were at one point 3 mins apart lasting at least a min long. But then they completely stopped. Still had cramping on Monday, some on Tuesday and Wed I had an appointment with Roxie, mostly just to check me to see if I had dilated and check the position of the baby because I was having alot of anxity about baby getting into position. I was 2 1/2cm, 50%, -2 station and she asked if I wanted her to strip my membranes. After a few days of cramping and on and off contractions I said yes. Boy did that hurt!! I had it done with Luke but it didn't hurt like this did and I told Roxie that too lol. So Thursday April 16th, Jason had to get up early for work because he had to drive to Fairview for some training (of course making me nervous that I would need to call him during that time and here he would be over an hour away) So he left for work and a couple hours later the boys climbed into bed with me. I got up to go to the bathroom and lost my plug. First time ever that I even noticed that I lost my plug! I was having contractions but were very mild, I could talk through them, walk, deal with the kids, yada, yada, yada. So I took all the boys to the dr so Jake could get his allergy shots. While there the pedi was asking if I was still having ahomebirth and that the hospital was a good place as well and asked if Roxie was going to be there and asked my due date. He's all for natural births, loves the idea of waterbirths and loves Roxie, but because homebirths are not very popular and he's had to rush in several times for emergencies of course he was skeptical and worried about homebirths. So after the dr's we went to my sisters, the kids played outside, we had lunch, and I was still having contractions so I decided to go home as my mil was coming up for dinner that evening with her sister and sister's husband (visiting from Tenn.). Got home cleaned the house (sorta), cleaned the bathroom, and still having contractions. They arrived and I told them right away I was having some mild contractions and apoligized for all the toys on the floor, I was not about to bend over and pick them up lol. Jason finally got home and I told him I thought we would be sending them home shortly after dinner and that's what happened. At 7pm they left, then called back to say there was a house fire down the street, Jason started getting the tub ready and I texted my midwives and my sister and they started heading up. My contractions were 3-5mins apart and 50 sec long but were turning into steady 3 mins apart 1 min long. I was nervous about them not making it so I didn't do much but sit on the couch. I didn't want to make my labor any shorter then it seemed like it was going to be. The boys were terrific while I was in labor. Jake and Tyee would come over and want a hug but if I was having a contraction they backed off and waited, then would ask if I was having the baby lol, I told them yes tonight she was coming! They were sooo excited! I wanted sooo bad to get in the tub but I was fearful of it making my labor progress rapidly, I declined. Jason had the boys put on jammies, then the back labor started, that was horrible! Jason rubbed my back for a good hour staight! At one point I got up to kneel on the floor and lean on the chair, I was feeling pressure but I tried my hardest not to push. Jason continued to rub my back and Jake came over with the flashlight and shown it down low and said "mom I'm making sure she comes head first for you." lol, very innocently. (that goes back to when she flipped breech, the boys thought it was fun to shine the flashlight on my lower belly ) So in the mean time they were all heading up. Of course they were all busy so they had to get their backups in order or get kids. So by the time they actually started showing up and were able to get through the house fire mess it was 8:30pm. Teresa was the first to show up with Mercedes, then Roxie 10 mins later, then Judy about 10 mins after Roxie. I was getting nervous because I could feel pressure before anyone was here. When they did arrive Roxie checked me, I was 10 cm!! I asked if I could get in the tub, but they wanted to make sure they could get the heplock in first so as soon as they saw blood they could start me up on pit. (as I'm prone to hemorraging) Finally got in the tub at 9pm. It felt soooo nice and relaxing, I wished I had gotten in sooner! Pretty much right away started pushing. I could feel her coming down, then go back up. And it seemed to keep happening with a few small pushes. During one contraction her head was right there, so I put my hand there and didn't feel a head, it was her membranes. That was such a weird feeling because I had expected to feel her hair. I pushed her head out and Roxie told me to just let it stretch, then the next contraction she told me to push, I said I can't but next thing you know I felt her body exit me and the water break as she slid out at 9:09pm. She was pretty blue and had the cord wrapped around her shoulder and I think because of that there may have been a little tug on the placenta that made a gush of blood come right away. So they shot me in the butt with pit. or that methajone stuff. I just sat and held her in the water, she definitly was a girl! and as much as I wanted to delay cord cutting alittle longer, they were concerned about the bleeding so I let them clamp (it was still at least 2 mins after so it was still somewhat delayed) Jake came over and cut the cord. You could tell he was sooo proud to get to do it! Judy took the baby while Roxie helped me out of the tub into my bed, I delivered the placenta and she massaged my uterus. Judy came in and gave me more methajone (sp?) and pit so I was cramping pretty bad with that, but no hemorraging!! I tried to nurse her but it was hard, she didn't want to latch right then and I was in so much pain, so after the massaging (which was at least 10-15mins) I nursed her and she latched right away. While I was being massaged, Jason weighed her, she was 7lb 2oz, 20 inches and just perfect! And I didn't tear!!The midwives and Jason cleaned the tub and everything and the house was back to normal in an hour. I just layed in bed holding and nursing my new little one. Who still didn't have a name lol. When everyone left by 1am, the house was quiet, the boys were sleeping, Jason was sleeping, the baby was sleeping and I was up almost all night cramping! I made sure to take motrin with the methwhatever pills after that! Later that day we decided to name her Piper Jo Hanna.
I couldn't have asked for it to go any better!! It was an amazing homebirth! The 2 reason's I'm glad I had my first 3 in the natural childbirth friendly hospital was because 1- Roxie didn't do homebirths then and 2- I hemorraged badly with Jake, with Tyee they were still trying to figure out what helped me to stop hemorraging and by Luke they had it down pat! I would have loved to be able to sit in the tub after giving birth and just hold her in the water for a few moments, but I guess that's where my situation is unique and even if we decide to have more, I'll probably have the same issues and will never get to experience that part of birth. But overall I was very happy about having my homebirth and feel completely blessed to have 4 beautiful children and 4 wonderful waterbirths! I couldn't ask for anything more! I am soooo blessed!
Friday, April 17, 2009
She's here!!
She was born last night on April 16th, at 9:09pm. She weighed 7lb 2 oz (we think) the midwife says she usually takes 1/2 lb off, not sure why but that would make her 6lb 10oz. I personally think she's closer to 7lb. Anyway it was an awesome homebirth!! Jason caught her, she was still in the bag, it broke as her body was coming out and Jake cut the cord, YES JAKE!! He's such a trooper! He was super excited about it. The boys were amazing during the birth! And they keep saying how cute their little sister is! Now for a name... Well her middle name is Jo Hanna, I'll get back to you when we figure out her first name!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Am I really 39 wks?!?
So I guess it depends on what due date you go by, I could be 39wks 1dy, or 39wks or almost 39 wks lol. Anyway, I don't have much further!!! I can't believe it!! It's kinda bitter sweet, I can't wait to meet this little person that's been giving me such stress yet been so gentle on me this pregnancy and this is my last pregnancy, I know I'm going to miss her moving around inside my belly. I feel so much better tonight after talking to my midwife. the baby has been kinda floating around some and I just get nervous that she's not going to get into position correctly and just make labor so much harder. The boys were in position and no worries about them moving out at 18 wks and I knew things were moving along even at 36 wks. So this little one has sorta thrown me for a few loops. I almost thought we were going to have an Easter baby. I started getting cramps on Friday night that lasted all day Sat. with mild contractions then Sunday they were becoming more intense and consistent. At one point they were 3 mins apart and 1 min long! I had contacted my midwife to let her know and sure enough they started spacing out and becoming mild. Still was dealing with it all day on Monday and then Tuesday they pretty much stopped. So my midwife told me I could come in tonight (wed) and she would check me and see the baby's position. And YAY she's exactly where she needs to be, 50% effaced, 2 1/2cm maybe almost 3, and -2 station. Can't tell you how relieved I was to know she was in position. I've been stressing so much about that! I don't care if I go to 40 wks I just wanted to be sure she was ready. My midwife told me she does not think she will be moving out of the pelvis and that was what I was worried about. Ahhh the stress is gone. Now I'm crampy and having contractions again. I don't think it will be too much longer but who knows! she fooled me on Sunday!
Oh and I've been losing weight. so far this pregnancy I've only gained 16lbs! Well it was up to 20 then apparently I lost a few. Not sure how that happened but I actually weigh less now than I did at the end of Luke's pregnancy!
Oh and I've been losing weight. so far this pregnancy I've only gained 16lbs! Well it was up to 20 then apparently I lost a few. Not sure how that happened but I actually weigh less now than I did at the end of Luke's pregnancy!
Monday, April 6, 2009
38 weeks tomorrow!!
Wow I'll be 38 wks tomorrow! That's only 2 weeks till I'm 40 wks! I can't believe it!! I went early with all the boys, Jake 6 dys early, Tyee 7 dys early and Luke 8 dys early. So if I follow pattern I could be holding my little girl next Sunday! I personally think her actual due date is closer to April 25-26 not the 21st, but what's a few days anyway lol. I think we're all prepared. Since I don't have a room to set up or a crib all we've really had to do is wash clothes and put them in the dresser. We've done that, although haven't taken tags off the new clothes just washed the hand-me-downs we got from Tina and my sister-in-law Heather.... just in case she is actually a HE! Although I'm really feeling like it is a girl and have for quite some time so I'm sure she is ;) I've done alot of cooking and preparing for meals for after the baby is born. I think I just about bankrupt us just getting food prepared for afterwards lol. But I seriously won't have to cook for WEEKS! And any shopping from now on out is basically for milk and bread and produce so I'm feeling VERY prepared in that department. I have 4 trays of baked ziti, 2 big trays of lazana, chopped chicken ready for different meals, ground turkey with onions precooked and frozen for different meals, enchilada pie filling, mexican cornbread filling, .... I think that's it. But Tina has already stocked us up with lots of frozen veggies and little pizzas and such and Teresa and Mercedes want to make a few meals for us to freeze as well. Then not to mention the couple of people from church that most likely will be making us dinner ... I definitly won't be doing real cooking for weeks!!! At least!! Good thing we have a huge freezer!
So Jason and I found a big house, new construction, not finished but livable, that went under forecloser that we think we can almost afford. I told Jason if we were able to get this house it would be a lifetime of finishing it and furnishing it lol. It's a 5 bedrm, 2 1/2 bath, full basement, 3 car garage, office, wrap around porch, more rooms on the first level that we have no idea what we could do with them! It really is sad to see this beautiful home that the previous owners were not able to finish. I'm sure it won't stay on the market for long, if we had our house sold we'd definitly put a bid on the house and work our butts off finishing the house. We did have an open house on Sat. and there was a couple that came through and they said they did like the house, but no offers yet. We are also waiting on a single mother with 2 children to take a look at our house when she comes to visit from Fl. Of course she's coming when the baby is due so I'm kinda hoping she makes her arrival before the lady comes.
That's really all that's been going on lately. Of course besides the normal everyday stuff with the boys and school and Jake starting T-ball. They are getting more and more excited about their sister coming. They will actually be attending the birth (they have for each birth) Jake is looking forward to cutting the cord. He's such a trooper. We've talked alot about birth and some of the amazing things and some of the gross things so I think he's prepared, he remembers Luke's birth so I know he'll be great. Tyee is the type that is pretty good about it all. We watched some births on YouTube, decent ones, and they really were amazed and thought it was so neat and I think helped them tons to look more forward to seeing their sister be born. (don't worry I'm a very quiet woman in labor so there's no screaming and yelling, I might say it hurts but the boys are also aware that it will hurt mommy but it will be ok) I'm so proud of them! I think it goes to show that children can handle more than we think they can, they are strong people, we just don't give them enough credit. So that's about it! I think I'm ready for this little one but then again, are we ever truely ready!! LOL
So Jason and I found a big house, new construction, not finished but livable, that went under forecloser that we think we can almost afford. I told Jason if we were able to get this house it would be a lifetime of finishing it and furnishing it lol. It's a 5 bedrm, 2 1/2 bath, full basement, 3 car garage, office, wrap around porch, more rooms on the first level that we have no idea what we could do with them! It really is sad to see this beautiful home that the previous owners were not able to finish. I'm sure it won't stay on the market for long, if we had our house sold we'd definitly put a bid on the house and work our butts off finishing the house. We did have an open house on Sat. and there was a couple that came through and they said they did like the house, but no offers yet. We are also waiting on a single mother with 2 children to take a look at our house when she comes to visit from Fl. Of course she's coming when the baby is due so I'm kinda hoping she makes her arrival before the lady comes.
That's really all that's been going on lately. Of course besides the normal everyday stuff with the boys and school and Jake starting T-ball. They are getting more and more excited about their sister coming. They will actually be attending the birth (they have for each birth) Jake is looking forward to cutting the cord. He's such a trooper. We've talked alot about birth and some of the amazing things and some of the gross things so I think he's prepared, he remembers Luke's birth so I know he'll be great. Tyee is the type that is pretty good about it all. We watched some births on YouTube, decent ones, and they really were amazed and thought it was so neat and I think helped them tons to look more forward to seeing their sister be born. (don't worry I'm a very quiet woman in labor so there's no screaming and yelling, I might say it hurts but the boys are also aware that it will hurt mommy but it will be ok) I'm so proud of them! I think it goes to show that children can handle more than we think they can, they are strong people, we just don't give them enough credit. So that's about it! I think I'm ready for this little one but then again, are we ever truely ready!! LOL
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